An Experience in Spring of 2009
In a dream, I become aware of Seven, then quickly, Twelve Beings. They are sitting, no, not sitting because these beings do not sit, they are in a circle, and are very clearly communicating about my soul and my life. They discuss in great detail the paths I have taken since the year 2000 following the year prior’s choice to live.
1999-2000: I was given a clear message one day near the end of an unhappy marriage; actually the beginning of the end. For years I had tried to escape the marriage through various means and one day I was doing something relatively mundane, like reading the newspaper, and suddenly a vision of my then husband appeared before me. He was a couple of feet in front of me with his arm and hand outstretched toward me. The end of his hand was a group of large tentacles and to my amazement I was seeing and feeling these tentacles deeply embedded in my left chest, above my breast. I was very aware and could see that he was taking the energy from my body. I was also aware that I was fully allowing it. From behind my right ear I heard a very distinct voice tell me that I have a choice to make. I could leave this scenario in one of two ways. One option was to develop breast cancer and transition out of this physical reality, and leave. The other was to leave the relationship and create a new life for myself. With this awareness, I knew somehow that I was going to leave, I just was not sure what choice I was going to make. For me it was clearly a choice of life or death. Death, at the time, seemed far easier than stepping out and creating a new life for awhile, and I found myself being seduced by the “easy” way out. It took about a year to finally make the choice to live, and I left. From that choice, my life and soul plan has been about resolving an immense amount of karma, both individual and familial, and quite possibly making a difference in the world karma by having made that choice to live and continue on a shift of soul path. For a couple of years after I left, I would have odd moments of realization and surprise that I was still alive, as I adjusted to that new reality.
Back to 2009: Recently, before this most recent dream with the Council of Twelve, I had been having a sense that the karma that that new soul path in 2000 set out to balance was complete, and that I was again coming upon another choice similar to the first one.
Great discussion in the dream amongst the Twelve Beings was made about the karma healed and the progress and path of my soul since 2000, and I realized that there was also discussion amongst these Twelve Beings about where I will be of best service, whether this physical body serves my greatest purpose at this juncture, or would I be of better service in another realm and dimension. Whilst I observed this conversation about my soul’s recent path and completion, my mind (of which they were all fully aware) was racing with all of my ego and third dimensional attachments, telepathizing as fast as I could, “Hey, I’ve just been accepted to pharmacy school, and started this great new clinic! And, what about my children and family and friends? I feel happy finally and want to live and observe this enormous transition on the planet! I haven’t yet experienced the beautiful and connecting relationship I’ve worked all of these years clearing the path for. Would you really just pluck me out, just like that?? Do I have any say in this??”
They “heard” me just fine as they knew everything about me, and I knew that some of that was being taken into account, however what I profoundly came to understand was that my soul’s path from this moment on Earth in this human form is about what I want it to be; pure manifestation. If it is determined that my soul will continue in this incarnate form for awhile longer, that as it does, my life is no longer about my personal or family karma, and is about putting into action my visions, my plans for service with all of the unique gifts I have brought with me. It was also profoundly clear that there were far more important considerations than my chattering mind’s worries as to whether I am to stay or not. Obviously before I incarnated in this form in this lifetime, I set forth a few goals, connections and junctures ahead of time as a soul embarking on this brief journey.
Of course, I can be plucked out at any given moment, and possibly more useful in a different plane, even if I’m going to pharmacy school in August, or even if I have three wonderful boys I want to watch grow and live and mature, even if the remaining things I hold dear are gone in a moment, and even if my closest and dearest friends and family would miss my presence and light. Why would my life be any different than anyone else’s? If I am not fully cognizant of the outline my soul and helpers created, how am I to know consciously that I am complete?
I did not hear an answer in that dream, but I did receive the message that I have no need to “worry” about pharmacy school (I wasn’t consciously worried, but perhaps there is/was some subconscious worry), that I would have ample help from at least several of these Twelve Beings. I mentally asked “how” and then I was shown, and through knowing, a download of information, a remembering. They showed me this with great joy and laughter. I felt that was pretty cool. I once had a dream many years ago that as I placed my hand on a book that all of the knowledge within that book became known to me, and this vision was a lot like that.
The dream stuck with me for a few days, and I knew I was to write about it, possibly for further clarity, but also to document these messages. On a personality level I was not too excited about the possibility that my human life might be over soon, and what does that mean for those around me, including logistics. I figure since I wasn’t zapped out right away that I am meant to stay for a bit. I was also profoundly struck with the message that I am here to love, love, love, in every moment, and to show love, express love, and essentially to love and it is through this love that all will manifest.
In one deep meditation in the months after this experience, I was aware that my soul was “negotiating” the kind of death I would experience. One where I’d have ample time to put my affairs in order, and to say my temporary goodbyes and relay as much of my understanding of the process as I could to those who were interested. I also had a sense of if I were to leave the physical realm, I’d have a few months left. It was clear the big decision hadn’t yet been made.
A few weeks after that meditation, I felt an indescribable shift, and somehow I knew that the decision had been made. I was to stay, yet again, for now, and more fully commit my life to service and to love. From that moment on, pretty much everything in my life shifted. Suddenly my second husband appeared, who was so obviously the right person for me, and we both knew it immediately. I moved, I sold my house and released so much of my stuff, my beautiful cats who assisted in my healing in those transitional years ended their lives, I got married, my children moved on to their endeavors, I began pharmacy school, and am successfully fulfilling that vision. It is pretty much a complete paradigm shift, like a fulfillment of the intentions and dreams I worked at for over a decade. Suddenly it was all there. I am still in awe to be here, and to be alive, and ever so grateful for this extended opportunity to live, love and serve.
2010/2011: Since then I have experienced a few specific death occurrences which are significant. One is my uncle’s passing from a brain tumor, and the other is a friend’s delivery of a stillborn child. My cousin sent an email soon after her dad passed that had two pictures attached. They were both of my uncle with his children approximately 1.5 weeks before he passed. Even though I had a little fear of what the pictures might show, I was elated to see all of the love in the people in the pictures and the grin of pure joy on my uncle’s face. He was swimming in a sea of love. I do not know how peaceful his passing was, however I can tell without a doubt that he was surrounded with and exuded the greatest love there is. I held that memory of his pure smile in my heart as I tended to my dear friend as she awaited the day she was to knowingly deliver her stillborn child. As I placed my hands on her beautiful round belly, I could feel no life within, only an emptiness, however I could hear the soul of this unborn nonviable child, and all it had to relay was pure joy and gratitude to my friend for this experience. There was definitely no sadness or anger on that little (big) soul’s part, solely gratitude and love for having shared this experience with my friend. I felt so honored to be part of that and to experience the message. On my human personality level I have felt grief and sorrow for my friend, and it was the first time I really ever wished I could do something for someone I knew I couldn’t do, so that I could spare her the pain and horror of it on a physical and emotional level.
Also, my cousin, Jenni, and my friend, Theresa recently passed on to the greater dimensions. I think of both of their lives and how they lived them ever so fully. They are both inspirations for me, to take the necessary risks to live life ever more fully. On a human level, I feel sadness that they are no longer visiting Earth to share their lights, but I know, without a doubt, that they are still in all of our hearts, as our angels and our inspirations for our own lives.
Thank you to the Council of Twelve, and my Higher Self for each day that I awaken!
Copyright Darkening of the Light 2020